


Blood Moon

by Lady_Faulkner



Series: Under the Asgardian Sky [2]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Loki (Marvel), Blood, Intersex Loki (Marvel), Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Menstrual blood, Odin's Bad Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-09 06:30:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12882126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Faulkner/pseuds/Lady_Faulkner
Summary: Blood is thicker than water, and many secrets lie in Loki's.





	1. Blood Moon: First Movement

**Author's Note:**

> Loki may appear to be out of character at times, but I promise there is a reason for it.

Under the Asgardian sky, two brothers turned lovers lay in the security of each other’s arms. For weeks they had stolen away to secret alcoves of the palace that only they knew. Hidden by shadow and Loki’s magic, they exchanged kisses, and caresses. When the stars rose, Thor would slip into Loki’s chambers, and not emerge until dawn. In those hours, they indulged in a happiness they had only thought possible in their wildest dreams, but not all was right between them. A change had come over Loki in the middle of their third week together, which was still puzzling Thor a week later.

From the start, Loki had been paranoid whenever they met in alcoves or his chambers. He would worry that they were not hidden well enough, or that his magic would fail to shield them from Heimdall. This also worried Thor, but it was outweighed by his love for Loki, and is why he set himself the task of soothing Loki’s fears. He had taken care to speak soothingly to Loki whenever they met, and by the second week, Loki was beginning to relax. He started holding Thor’s hand with their fingers intertwined, and would whisper softly in Thor’s ear, but he was becoming more demanding of Thor. He could not get to Loki’s chambers soon enough, and Loki would possessively cling to him after sex. It was a welcome change to Thor, but midway through their fourth week together, the intensity of Loki’s affection was beginning to worry him.

Thor lay beside a sleeping Loki, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. He knew that he needed to talk to Loki about this behavior, but he could not bring himself to wake him from his blissful sleep. Early morning light floated through a crack in the curtains and Thor reluctantly slid out of bed, unintentionally waking Loki.

“Stay,” he pleaded groggily, catching Thor’s trailing arm.

“The servants will see me if I stay any longer, my love,” Thor reminded him softly.

“If they do, they will assume you are returning from a woman’s chambers,” Loki argued. “That’s why we agreed to meet in my chambers.”

Thor sighed and bent over to kiss Loki’s cheek. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I can let my guard down,” he whispered.

Loki threw his arms around Thor’s neck. “Please stay,” he begged.

“Loki, I have to go,” Thor said in a serious tone.

“Nooo, stay here with me,” Loki wined in Thor’s ear.

Thor gently removed Loki’s arms from his neck. “Loki, you know I have to go,” he said, meeting Loki’s eyes.

Loki pouted at him.

“Loki, are you feeling well?” Thor inquired cautiously. “You are not acting like yourself.”

“I just want you here with me,” Loki whispered, his eyes watering. “Is that so selfish?”

Thor’s eyebrows knitted together. “Loki, you aren’t being selfish,” he said, confused by Loki’s words and the tears in his eyes.

“I’ve been demanding so much from you, and I never asked if you felt comfortable with any of it,” Loki explained as tears began to fall down his cheeks.

“I’ve enjoyed it,” Thor reassured him, “but I’m worried about you.”

Loki let out a loud sob and his tears began to fall like raindrops onto the bedsheets. “I’m…sorry…Thor,” he managed to say between sobs.

Thor wrapped his arms around Loki’s shoulders. “Shhh, it’s alright, Loki. I’m not mad at you,” he whispered in a reassuring tone.

“I…made you…worry…,” Loki replied.

“I’m worried because you are not acting like yourself, my love,” Thor explained before placing the back of his hand to Loki’s forehead. “You feel warm, Loki.”

“I’ve been warm all night,” Loki confessed, wrapping his arms around Thor’s chest.

“Do you feel sick?” Thor inquired.

“No,” Loki mumbled.

“Loki,” Thor coaxed, stroking his tangled hair.

Loki nestled his head into Thor’s chest. “My throat’s dry.”

“Let me get you some water,” Thor whispered, kissing the top of Loki’s head.

Loki reluctantly released him, and Thor made his way to the bathroom. Loki as listened to Thor moving about, he felt something loosen in his lower abdomen. A sensation akin to urination seized him and he pulled back the covers.

“Thor,” Loki called, his voice trembling. “Thor!”

Thor rushed in, the glass of water forgotten on the counter. “Loki, what-?” he breathed.

“I’m bleeding,” Loki said, trying to control his rising sense of panic.


	2. Blood Moon: Second Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is bleeding, the servants are up, and Thor must find a way to get his lover to the Healing Room without revealing their secret.

Thor rushed to Loki’s side; dark blood stained the sheets under him, with a few drops of dried, pink blood nearby.

“Are you hurt?” Thor breathed, his eyes darting from Loki to the blood and back.

“I don’t know,” Loki admitted, his voice trembling. “I don’t…I don’t…” he muttered, wrapping his arms around his slender frame.

Thor’s heart was racing, and his mind was refusing to work, but Loki needed him, and he needed a plan. This was normally Loki’s area; Thor could come up with countless ideas, but it was Loki who could shape any of them into a plan. Thor had always counted on Loki for this; their best schemes had come out of his head and been polished to perfection by Loki’s, but he could not rely on that now. Loki was terrified, and Thor needed to take control of the situation before they were discovered.

Tears were staining Loki’s cheeks and a hand over his mouth muffled the sound of his sobs as they burst from his throat. Thor hushed him and soothingly stroked his cheek, then his hair. He wrapped his arms around Loki’s shoulders and held him close to his chest.  

“Wait here, my love,” he whispered as a plan took form in his head. “I will dress, then come back for you and we will go to the Healing Room. This way, no one will know.”

“Quickly,” Loki begged.

Thor cupped Loki’s face in his hands and used his thumbs to brush away his brother’s tears. He pressed a light kiss to Loki’s lips then slowly dropped his arms. His eyes did not leave Loki’s until he reached the door, and once he was on the other side, he found himself half-running towards his chambers. His footfalls thundered off the walls and the few servants he did encounter dashed out of his way long before he approached. They observed his long, determined strides and the fearful look in his eyes, and drew their own conclusions.

Thor burst into his chambers, his heart pounding in his ears and his lungs screaming for air. He closed his eyes and took a moment to compose himself. When he opened them again, he calmly moved to his dresser and selected a dark blue tunic and a pair of black pants from separate drawers.

Loki’s room was identical to his, but it always struck Thor how different they felt when he returned in the morning. Rugs from different Realms dotted Loki’s floors, and heavy green drapes surrounded the bed, and covered the windows. Unstable stacks of books cluttered the room, with papers and pens scattered throughout. Loki’s room felt warm, and inviting, and Thor hated to leave it. The floors of his room were bare, and the few personal possessions he had collected over the years fit neatly in one corner. There were a few handkerchiefs, which had been given to him as favors from ladies of court, his breastplate and a spare, and a dented shield that Sif had given to him years before. Then there was his hammer Mjolnir, which he kept at his bedside, so he could easily find it.

He smiled and summoned Mjolnir to his hand. The moment his hand closed around the worn leather handle, a familiar calm washed over his body. With his hammer in his hand, Thor knew he could win any battle, and that conditioned response strengthened his resolve. He pulled off his wrinkled clothes from the day before, splashed some water on his face, and under his arms before pulling on the clean clothes.

An urgent knock at the door startled him as he pulled on his left boot, and he almost fell over. Loki slipped in, wrapped in a black dressing gown trimmed with gold, and wearing a nervous look on his pale face.

“Loki,” Thor breathed, shoving his right foot into its boot. “What are you-?”

“-Thor, I need your help,” Loki cut in, his voice small and thin.

He gave Thor a nervous look and Thor understood his scheme. There needed to be a story to explain why Thor had accompanied Loki to the Healing Room, and if the servants and Heimdall could collaborate it, even better.

“My help?” Thor inquired with an interested tone as he walking to Loki’s side.

“I woke up bleeding,” Loki informed him quietly.

“Bleeding?” Thor repeated.

“Yes,” Loki confirmed, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Loki, you should go to the Healing Room,” Thor recommended.

Loki nodded. “I am rather sore, and I do not know if I will be able to walk there,” he confessed reluctantly.

Thor froze, was this his fault? Loki enjoyed complaining to him about leaving bruises on his neck, so surely, he would have said something if Thor was hurting him. He had not always been gentle with Loki, but it had always been for their mutual pleasure. Thor dropped his gaze from Loki, feeling foolish for not considering any of this earlier, and ashamed for not considering the effects his love-making might have on Loki.

“Thor?” Loki whispered, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Thor forced himself to smile. “Do you want me to carry you?” he joked.

Loki’s eyes flashed. “I’m not a maiden,” he snapped.

“No, you are not,” Thor agreed before walking to the door. “Coming?”

Loki slowly followed him, and they made their way down to the Healing Room. The way was familiar to them from the countless times they had been brought there throughout their lives. The glowing white examination tables had held them during the treatment of cuts and bruises from playing and training, and annual checkups. Thor had been the most; his right arm had been broken after falling from the top of the apple tree, and countless cuts, bruises and burns had been soothed under the care of the Healers. Loki, on the other hand, had spent many long nights in the narrow beds. Fevers had plagued him during many summers, and illness had always clung to him longer than any of the other children. The Healers had secretly worried for many years that one of his fevers, or a foreign sickness would claim him before he reached adulthood. Loki had intuited this shortly after his tenth birthday, and as they approached the Healing Room, he began to fear that they had been right.

It was early enough in the morning that only one Healer was there when he and Thor arrived. She was young, with long, honey blonde hair, pulled into a thick braid that fell to her waist. Her navy-blue robes were crisp, and her eyes were the same color.

“Your Highnesses,” she gasped, startled by their arrival. “May I help you?”

“We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t need it,” Loki muttered, pushing himself onto one of the examination tables.

The young Healer’s face reddened and her eyes darted to the floor.

“You are new, aren’t you?” Thor inquired gently.

“Yes, sir,” she admitted.

Loki sighed loudly. “Get over here and scan me,” he ordered. “I trust you know how to do that?”

“What is troubling him?” the Healer whispered to Thor.

“From what I understand, he woke up bleeding,” he informed her quietly.

“Bleeding?” she breathed, her eyes darting to Loki.

He was laying on his back, his hands folded on his stomach and his eyes staring blankly at the overhead light source. His legs were pressed close together, but he could feel that this was not hindering the trickle of blood.

The young Healer approached him. “Where are you bleeding?” she inquired nervously.

“Somewhere around my cock,” Loki muttered.

The Healer bit her lip before activating the machines.

“Loki, she is only doing her job,” Thor reminded him as he walked to Loki’s side.

Loki closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

“What is your name?” Thor inquired, turning to the Healer. “I am unfamiliar with your face.”

“I am Ragna Grímsdóttir,” she said with a small smile as she initiated a scan of Loki’s body. “I just completed my training.”

“Fetch Eir,” Loki ordered.

“Loki,” Thor scolded.

Loki locked his gaze on Thor’s. “Eir is more qualified,” he argued. “She has treated me since childhood.”

Thor glanced at Ragna, who was nervously running another scan. “Give her a chance,” he encouraged Loki.

Loki raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“I think it would be best if I fetched Eir,” Ragna whispered before running off.

“You charming snake,” Thor sighed, “you’ve scared her off.”

Loki smiled up at him. “You have always liked snakes, brother,” he reminded Thor.

He returned Loki’s smile. “That I have,” he agreed.

Two sets of footsteps approached, and Ragna’s nervous tones announced her return.

“…impossible. I must be doing something wrong,” she was saying to Eir when they came into view.

“You should not allow yourself to become flustered so easily,” Eir scolded her in an undertone.

Eir was the Head Healer, and had been so since Thor and Loki’s childhood. Her long, dark hair was beginning to grey, and a few lines marked her face, but experience had not made her any less strict than she had been on her first day in the Healing Room.

“What ails you, Loki?” she inquired, before reading the results of Ragna’s scans.

“I woke up bleeding,” Loki replied.

Eir closed her dark eyes and sighed.

“Am I dying?” Loki inquired, his voice thin.

Eir’s eyelids flicked open. “No, you are not dying,” she informed him. She turned off the equipment and walked to his side. “You are experiencing your menarche.”

“How is this possible?” Loki demanded, sitting up.

“What is that?” Thor whispered to Ragna.

“Ragna,” Eir said calmly, “go and inform the All-father of what has happened. He will want to come immediately.”

“Of course,” Ragna whispered before hurrying to find Odin.

“I’m sure Odin will have an excellent explanation for why I’m menstruating,” Loki grumbled to himself.


	3. Blood Moon: Third Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Odin has been keeping a few secrets from Loki over the years, but it's time for Loki to learn the truth.

Loki glared up at the ceiling, his breaths were slow and shallow. A fire was raging inside him, and Thor didn’t dare speak, knowing Loki would boil over if he did.

“Let me get you something for the bleeding,” Eir said in a soft voice before leaving them alone.

“…Say something,” Loki muttered to Thor.

“What do you want me to say?” Thor whispered, cautiously meeting Loki’s gaze.

“Anything,” Loki replied.

Thor considered his words carefully. “It changes nothing,” he informed Loki, “you are still my charming snake of a brother.”

“Minion, this changes everything,” Loki said with a weary smile.

“Minion?” Thor repeated.

“Yes, would it kill you to read now and again?” Loki sighed before the sound of approaching footfalls caught his attention.

Eir returned and handed Loki a small, dome shaped cup made from a silicon.

“This will catch your blood for a time,” Eir informed him.

“What is it?” Thor inquired, genuinely curious.

“It’s a menstrual cup,” Loki explained. “You weren’t paying attention when they educated us about this, were you?”

“Not as much as you were,” Thor replied, shifting his weight guiltily.

Loki turned to Eir and held up the menstrual cup, “Any idea as to where my vaginal canal is?”

“Posterior to the testis,” Eir replied.

“That’s where I thought you’d say,” Loki sighed before swinging himself around on the examination table, so his back was to Thor.

He positioned himself on the edge of the table, pinching the cup with one hand, while the other searched behind his testis. His vaginal lips were not as defined as a woman’s, but once he found the opening, Loki carefully slid the cup into place. He twisted the cup, so it opened, creating a seal with the walls of his vaginal canal. Loki squirmed; it was sensation he would need to become accustomed to.

“This is going to take some getting used to,” Loki muttered as he turned back around to face Thor and Eir.

The sound of rapid footfalls floated to their ears seconds before Frigga ran into the Healing Room. Her auburn hair was tangled, and a gold thread dressing gown covered white nightgown. Thor and Loki had not seen her this since childhood, when they’d both gotten food poisoning on Vanaheim.

“Loki,” Frigga breathed, rushing to his side.

“Mother,” Loki replied, surprised by her disheveled appearance.  

Frigga smiled at him while her heart pounded in her breast. She had run ahead of Odin, so she could see her son’s kind face once last time before he learned the truth. His eyes were soft, and concerned, and she took the time to memorize that look, for fear that it would shortly turn to hate.

“Mother, are you well?” Thor whispered as Eir silently left the room.

Frigga realized that she had begun to cry before wiping her tears on her sleeve and forcing herself to smile. “Yes, Thor,” she lied.

Odin’s footsteps became audible and Frigga turned to Loki. “I wanted to tell you, for so many years, I wanted to tell you.”

“What did you want to tell me?” Loki pressed.

“Frigga,” Odin’s voice called.

“I love you, my son,” she whispered to Loki.

“Father,” Thor said cautiously, “I take it you know what is happening to Loki?”

“Yes,” Odin replied as he crossed the room to the examination table Loki lay on. “Tell me, Loki, what do you know of Frost Giants?”

“Frost Giants?” Loki repeated, confused.

“Yes, the inhabitants of Jotunheim, what do you know of them?” Odin pressed.

Loki recalled from his memory everything he had read about them, “As the name suggests, they are a race of giants who inhabit the Realm of Jotunheim, which is covered in ice and snow. They have blue skin, on which they have raised markings that indicate their lineage.”

“You know nothing of their physiology?” Odin pressed.

“Odin,” Frigga cautioned, “don’t make this worse.”

“I’m a Frost Giant,” Loki said with venom in his voice. “Aren’t I?”

Frigga turned to Loki with tears in her eyes, “Yes, Loki,” she whispered.

Silence fell; Odin gave Frigga a sympathetic look while tears burned in her eyes. Thor’s eyes rested on Loki, who was blankly staring at the space in front of him.

“…Male Frost Giants menstruate?” Thor inquired, his voice a little above a whisper.

“Frost Giants possess both male and female anatomy,” Frigga informed him quietly. “One is more prevalent, while the other is in stasis until a period of repeated sexual intercourse. This duality allows their race to have a greater chance of survival during the long winters Jotunheim is known for.”

“Repeated sexual intercourse,” Thor repeated, daring to glance at Loki as he spoke.

Loki’s eyes rested on Thor’s for a millisecond before flicking to Odin. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded, strategically shifting the focus of the conversation before the question Thor’s comment insinuated, could be asked.

“I found you abandoned in a temple at the end of the Jotunheim War,” Odin informed him without hesitation. “You were small and defenseless; it was not right for you to die.”

“You slaughtered thousands of Jotuns,” Loki reminded him. “What was one more to you?”

“Loki,” Thor cautioned.

His eyes snapped to Thor’s face and his heart ached as he beheld nothing but love and concern in the sapphire eyes he had adored since childhood.

“Who am I, really?” Loki whispered to Odin, his eyes still on Thor.

“Your heritage lines indicate that you are the son of Laufey, King of the Frost Giants,” Odin replied.

“Loki Laufeyson,” Loki intoned to himself.

“No, Loki,” Frigga insisted. “When Odin placed you in my arms, your blue skin grew pale and your red eyes turned green. You became my son, and I have loved you ever since.”

“Then why did you never tell me what I am?” Loki demanded, turning his gaze on her.

Frigga looked to Odin.

“I had plans to unite Asgard and Jotunheim through you,” he confessed. “However, those plans no longer matter.”

“Father, surely a peace between our people can still be reached?” Thor insisted.

Loki’s eyes flicked to Thor’s. “What are you suggesting?” he intoned cautiously.

“A marriage,” Thor replied, “between you and an Asgardian; surely that was your plan all along, father?”

Odin nodded. “Unfortunately, the woman I intended to be Loki’s betrothed, perished two years ago.”

“Sigyn,” Thor whispered aloud as her name entered Loki’s mind.

“Yes,” Odin admitted.

Loki had not thought about Sigyn for a long time. She had been chronically ill since she was born, and spent most of her life in the Healing Room. Loki had met her during an especially hot summer when he was eight, and his fevers wouldn’t leave him. Fevers, he now realized, that had been a result of an intolerance for temperatures that soared so far above those of Jotunheim.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was my intended?” Loki whispered.

“I wanted to announce it when she was stronger,” Odin replied.

“Stronger?” Loki said, raising his head to meet Odin’s remaining eye.

“Loki,” Frigga whispered, gently touching his shoulder.

“Do you know what that would have meant to her?” Loki inquired, still looking at Odin.

Odin bowed his head.

“It would have meant the world to her,” Thor said before Loki could. “Loki was the most constant friend she had.”

Loki looked over at Thor. He had never been sure that Thor had even known who Sigyn was, but the regret that marked his face proved to Loki that he had. Now that he thought about it, Thor had been in the Healing Room often enough as a child, it would have been impossible for him not to. Especially knowing Sigyn. She had been incurably upbeat and social, that Thor would have gotten to know her, regardless of if he wanted to or not.

“Thank you,” Loki whispered to Thor.

Thor nodded. “You’re welcome, Loki,” he said with a light smile.

Silence fell over the Healing Room, as no one was sure what to say next.

“Loki,” Odin said, an affectionate tone in his voice, “I was wrong to keep this from you for so long.”

“Would you have ever told me?” Loki inquired pointedly. “Or was it your intention to continue to keep this from me?”

“Loki,” Odin whispered, hurt by Loki’s accusations.  

“I’ve heard enough,” he muttered, pushing himself off the examination table.

Frigga looked at him through the tears in her eyes. She longed to pull Loki into her arms and comfort him; to tell him that he was still her son, but that was not what he needed. He needed time to process, and space away from them to do that, so she stood motionless as he left the Healing Room.

Thor fought the impulse of his heart to rush after Loki. He knew that if he did, it would expose their secret, but that did not make it easier. Loki needed to know that nothing had changed between them, despite everything changing for him. Now, there was no reason for their love to be hidden once Thor became king. He could rule with Loki at his side, and they would be happy.

Odin kept his face neutral, but internally he regretted his decision to not tell Loki sooner. He had thought of Loki as his trueborn son ever since he’d placed him in Frigga’s arms after returning from Jotunheim. Thor had been his favorite, but in his own way, Odin had been proud of Loki’s accomplishments. His skills in the magical arts rivaled Frigga’s and promised to surpass them, but now that Loki knew of his heritage, a part of Odin worried that he would turn those skills against Asgard. Then, there was the question of who Loki had taken into his bed, and caused him to menstruate.

Until now, Odin had believed that Sigyn was the only woman Loki cared for. He had never shown any real interest in anyone else, which was part of the reason why Odin had kept his intention to betroth him to Sigyn a secret after her death. He had seen no reason to cause Loki additional pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something I never thought I would have to consider about the "Thor" universe; what menstrual products to the women of Asgard use?


	4. Bonus Chapter: Loki and Sigyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback of Loki and Sigyn's relationship, starting with their first meeting when Loki was 8.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was going to be a short flashback to show what Sigyn meant to Loki, but it was taking the focus away from everything else. So now it gets its own short chapter. I'm not a big Loki x Sigyn shipper, but I did enjoy writing this.

It was an unusually hot summer solstice, which resulted in Loki having especially persistent fevers. He spent the entire solstice confined to a healing bed with an enchanted dome over it to regulate his body temperature. Every morning, Frigga would bring him stacks of books to read, but they could only do so much to relieve his boredom.

Two weeks into this treatment, a girl around his age, with long, red gold hair and soft, sky blue eyes, was brought into the Healing Room. She was bone thin, and coughed constantly, but there was an internal strength to her that caught Loksi’s attention.

She was given a bed on the opposite side of the room and instructed to rest. However, the moment the Healers were gone, she got up and came over to Loki.  

“Hi,” she said cheerfully, “I’m Sigyn.”

“Loki,” he replied, surprised by her cheerful nature.

“Why are you in a bubble?” Sigyn inquired, tilting her head to the right to examine it.

“It keeps me cold,” Loki muttered, dropping his gaze.

“Why?” Sigyn pressed, innocently curious.

“Because I’m sick,” Loki snapped.

A coughing fit seized Sigyn and it was several seconds before she could reply. “So am I,” she said with a weak smile.

“I can see that,” Loki muttered.

Sigyn laughed, which then turned into coughing. “I like you, Loki,” she declared once her fit had stopped.

Loki gave her a sideways glance. Until then, no one had paid much attention to him, and her genuine interest took him by surprise. “I think I’m going to like you too,” he admitted.

After that, she had insisted on having the bed beside his. Initially, her coughing annoyed him, but after a week of it, he began to tune it out. He also began to learn more about her illness from the Healers who constantly hovered around her. What she had was not treatable, it was manageable. She would be sick her whole life, but she was determined to live her life as fully as she could. She borrowed every book Frigga brought for Loki and read every word, before talking Loki’s ear off about them. This also annoyed Loki, but her dedication to reading everything he recommended endeared her to him. Besides Frigga, Loki had never encountered someone who enjoyed reading as much as he did.

After Loki had been allowed to leave at the end of the summer solstice, he had made it a habit to return and visit Sigyn. He brought her books, and the occasional small bouquet of her favorite flowers. During this time, he realized that part of him wanted to spend the rest of his life by her side. Loki’s love for Thor still ruled his heart, and he wasn’t sure of the extent of his affection for Sigyn, but a lifetime in her company had its allure.

Then, three years ago, her condition had worsened, and Loki had become a constant presence at her bedside.

“Why are you doing this, Loki?” she asked him one day.

“Because I care for you, Sigyn,” Loki had replied with a reassuring smile.

“No, Loki, you care for someone else,” Sigyn said knowingly.

Loki had wrinkled his forehead at her.

“Rhymes with door,” Sigyn teased.

Loki’s face had reddened and Sigyn had giggled.

“I knew it!” she’d exclaimed before falling into one of her coughing fits. “Knew it…but don’t worry, I won’t tell,” she’d added afterwards.

“Thank you, Sigyn,” Loki whispered.

She smiled at him.

“I meant it though,” Loki added. “I do care for you.”

“Of course, you do!” Sigyn exclaimed. “If you didn’t like me, you would have stopped talking to me long ago.”

Loki chuckled. “You are not wrong,” he conceded.  

“I know you too well, Loki,” Sigyn smiled, before falling into a coughing fit.

Two weeks later, she died in her sleep, with Loki passed out in a chair beside her.


	5. Blood Moon: Fourth Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki must come to terms with his Jotun heritage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throughout this chapter, Loki is questioning many things. Not least among them is his personal identity. To reflect this, I decided not to use personal pronouns when referring to Loki until the end.

An hour in the tower was colder than Loki had anticipated, but then again, it was the tallest. Loki smirked while leaning against the section of wall across from the staircase, remembering a younger self who had been terrified of being taken to the dungeons.

“A different time,” Loki mused aloud.

The sound of footfalls on the stairs caught Loki’s attention before a pair of sapphire eyes, framed by golden hair came into view.

“May I come up?” Thor inquired, his voice soft.

Loki managed to smile at him, “Of course.”

Thor stepped up into the tower room and seated himself beside Loki. He took Loki’s hand in his and interlaced their fingers. Loki’s head rested on Thor’s shoulder, and they sat in silence, hidden from Heimdall’s omniscient eyes by Loki’s magic.

After a time, Loki whispered, “Who am I?”

Thor gave Loki’s hand a reassuring squeeze, “You, are my charming snake, my love.”

“Am I still your love?” Loki inquired softly. “I am not who I was yesterday.”

“No, you are not,” Thor agreed, kissing Loki’s hand. “Yesterday, you were my brother, now you are my love. My Loki.”

“But who is Loki?” the Prince of Jotunheim mused.

Thor shifted so he could see Loki’s face. “My raven-haired love, my green-eyed snake,” he whispered, kissing Loki’s nose.

“Then what is Loki? Male, female, something in between?” Loki challenged. “Was Loki’s love for Thor the result of a man loving another man? A woman loving a man? Or something else entirely?”

Thor considered this for some time. “I cannot speak for you,” he said slowly, “but the love I feel for women is different than the love I feel for you. It is not simply a matter of loving one person differently than another, either. The way I love you is completely different from how I love others, yet the reason is the same. I fall in love with men and women because I see something in them that is beautiful to me. I want them to recognize that beauty and for us to cultivate it together. For example, I fell in love with you because you were beautiful, kind, sweet, and intelligent.”

For each reason why he loved Loki, Thor pressed a kiss on the back of Loki’s hand.

“What if you love me as a man, but I love you as a woman loves a man?” Loki inquired after a moment.

“I will love you just the same,” Thor insisted.

Loki looked into Thor’s eyes, “Will you?”

“Yes,” Thor replied immediately.

“Would love a Frost Giant?” Loki challenged.

“Yes, Loki,” Thor affirmed.

Loki decided to test him and slid onto Thor’s lap, “Then pleasure me.”

“No, Loki,” Thor returned, his voice firm.

“Why not?” Loki inquired, grinding against Thor.

“Loki, stop,” Thor demanded, pushing Loki off his lap.

Loki stood up and looked down at Thor, “You don’t want me.”

“I do want you,” Thor corrected, “but I don’t want you to force yourself on me.”

“If nothing had changed between us, you would know that I’m not,” Loki sneered.

“Loki, you need to process this,” Thor pleaded. “I need to process this.”

Loki walked away from him, “What’s there to process? I was never your brother, and now I can be your lover, publicly. We could even join our peoples in marriage. Think of it, the House of Odin, filled with the sons of Thor and Loki; they would be the greatest warriors and kings the Realms have ever known.”

“Father would never approve,” Thor reminded Loki.

“Why not?” Loki demanded. “He took me to join Jotunheim with Asgard. So long as the result is the same, why should he care if grandchildren were birthed by a male Jotun?”

Thor stood up, “He is stubborn, Loki. You know this.”

“What difference does that make?” Loki snapped. “Or maybe, you don’t love me anymore?”

“Loki, I love you still!” Thor exclaimed, stepping in front of Loki and placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders.

“You love me?” Loki challenged.

“Yes, Loki,” Thor affirmed.

“You love Loki Laufeyson?”

“As dearly as I loved Loki Odinson.”

“You love Loki, Prince of Jotunheim?”

“As much as I ever loved Loki, Prince of Asgard!”

“Then marry me, Thor Odinson,” Loki proposed.

Thor shook his head. “I cannot,” he whispered, dropping his gaze from Loki’s.

“Thor, you are my all,” Loki breathed before pushing him away.

“Father would never accept you,” Thor explained with tears in his eyes.

Loki locked their eyes together and cold emerald cut into watery sapphire. “What of your plans for when you assume the throne? Have you forgotten your promise to me?”

“No, Loki,” Thor breathed.

“Then why do you deny me?” Loki screamed. “You are my all! My whole being belongs to you, Thor. My body, my love, my lust; all belong to you! You stepped in to preserve my life because your love was aligned with mine, and now? Now you push me away!”

“Loki, it’s not that simple!” Thor pleaded.

“Was I ever anything to you besides an outlet for you lust?” Loki demanded.

Words failed Thor and he looked at Loki with his mouth open in disbelief and his eyes desperately searching Loki’s.

“ANSWER ME!” Loki bellowed.

“I love you Loki,” Thor chocked out as tears began to fall from his eyes, “but I cannot marry you.”

“Why?” Loki hissed.

Thor shook his head, “No.”

“Then you never loved me,” Loki whispered.

“That,” Thor accused, “that attitude of yours is exactly why I could never marry you. You can be kind and loving, Loki, but you can also be manipulative and demanding. I have loved you despite this, but were we married…Loki, we would drive each other to the brink of insanity!”

Loki set his jaw. “Then you refuse my marriage proposal, Prince of Asgard?”

“I do,” Thor said, his voice calm.

“Then I see no reason for me to linger on Asgard,” the Prince of Jotunheim said, drawing himself up to his full height before turning on his heel and descending the stairs of the tower.

“Loki!” Thor called after him, but the dark head did not look back.


	6. Blood Moon: Fifth Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor takes a few minutes to think over what just happened. Perhaps a drink will help. Make that two barrels.

* * *

Thor sat on the balcony rail of his chambers with a tankard in his left hand. His right mindlessly threw and caught Mjolnir, while his mind wandered across the rooftops of Asgard until it reached Heimdall’s Observatory. The Bifrost had opened twenty minutes after his argument with Loki, and his heart had crumbled to dust; Loki was gone, and he hadn’t gone after him.

Thor’s anger had always lasted as long as a lightning strike, so seconds after Loki had left the tower, he had wanted to run after him and apologize, but he hadn’t. He’d stood there, with Loki’s final words ringing in his ears, like the fool he was. Loki could hold a grudge, so Thor had convinced himself that it was best to give Loki some space to clear his head. Then, he’d felt more the fool for not going after Loki, and had run down the narrow stairs, blindly searching for his love. That was when he’d seen the Bifrost open.

Mjolnir faithfully returned to Thor’s hand and he took a long drink from his tankard. He’d raided the cellar and carried two large casks up the back stairs and emptied the first barrel a long time ago. Little remained in the second, and he was seriously considering going back down for more. He knew the drink would not bring Loki back, or make him feel any less heartbroken, but the alcohol was dulling his senses, which made the pain more bearable.

“Thor,” his mother voice called softly from over his shoulder.

He sent Mjolnir into the night, “Here, mother,” he grunted.

Thor faintly heard her approach, and guessed at her disapproval of his excessive drinking.

“Loki left an hour ago,” Frigga informed him.

“Yes, I know,” Thor muttered before taking a drink. “I saw the Bifrost open.”

Frigga came to his side and touched his arm. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“What for, mother?” Thor inquired, turning to look at her.

She hesitated, considering her words carefully before meeting her son’s gaze. “I know,” she said softly.

Thor’s heart skipped a beat, “Know what?”

“Thor,” Frigga said in a tone that dared him to continue to feign ignorance.

Thor took a long drink from his tankard. “How long have you known?”

“I’m your mother, did you two truly believe I wouldn’t notice?” Frigga returned.

“Does father know?” Thor whispered, dropping his gaze.

Frigga smirked, “I may be his wife, but that doesn’t mean I tell him everything.”

“Thank you,” Thor said with a grateful smile.

“Of course,” Frigga replied, returning his smile. “Now, tell me what happened between you two,” she said, wrapping her arm around Thor’s.

Thor considered his words carefully, “He proposed.”

Frigga’s eyes widened. “He…?” she breathed.

“Yes,” Thor whispered. “I refused. I broke his heart, and didn’t go after him.”

“Thus, you turned to drink?” Frigga accused.

Thor set his tankard on the ledge and summoned Mjolnir to his hand. “With everything that’s happened this night,” he muttered, “surely a little drink is justified?”

“Two casks?” Frigga whispered.

Thor set Mjolnir beside him on the railing, “Yes, mother.”

“Why did you refuse?” Frigga inquired cautiously.

Thor paused. “I…I’ve always thought highly of Loki, but when he asked me…something stopped me from saying yes. It…he, what he was asking, it wasn’t the right time. With everything we learned tonight, saying yes…I couldn’t do it. So much has changed, and we both need time to process what it all means for us. Then there’s father; he would never give his blessing to...to us. Even if he did, Asgard would never accept us, not after believing for years that we were…family. I hate myself for saying no, but it was for the best.”

“Thor,” Frigga breathed, reaching up and cupping his face in her hands, “I never wanted either of you to find out this way, or for it to cause you pain.”

“You could have told us some part of it,” Thor accused, his eyes watering. “Why keep it a secret?”

Frigga’s eyes watered, “Do you remember how much you wanted a younger brother?”

“No,” Thor replied, “I barely remember a life without Loki.”

“You begged and begged for a brother. Then your father came home from Jotunheim and placed Loki in my arms,” Frigga recalled with a faint, nostalgic smile. “When you saw him, you were so overjoyed you took him from me and told us that you would protect him. You barely left his side, and you cried whenever I carried you away from him. How could I tell you that he wasn’t your brother?”

Thor considered this.

“I should have told you, a long time ago,” Frigga continued, “but you were always so happy. I told myself that it was more important than the truth, but I was wrong. I should have told you.”

Thor embraced his mother. He wanted to be angry; her silence had contributed to Loki’s self-loathing that had almost resulted in his death. If they had known, it could have been different; without the fear of incest, they could have learned of their mutual love sooner. They could have been together longer, and Thor would have accepted Loki’s marriage proposal before they ran away to a distant Realm. But it was all a fantasy, even if they had known, Thor knew it was unlikely he would have ever told Loki how he felt. It had taken Loki’s desperate attempt to end his life for Thor to confess his love. He regretted that, but Thor knew himself too well to believe that he would have told Loki if he had known they weren’t brothers.

“Thor?” Frigga whispered.

“I forgive you,” he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and looking into his mother’s eyes.

Tears ran down Frigga’s cheeks, “Thank you.”

“Don’t cry, mother,” Thor whispered, brushed her tears away.

Frigga nodded and walked to the balcony rail. She looked out over Asgard before taking a large sip from her son’s tankard.

“Can I get you one?” Thor inquired.

“No,” Frigga sighed. “Thank you.”

Thor placed a large hand on his mother’s shoulder, “Of course.”

“Will you be alright?” she inquired.

“Yes, mother,” Thor reassured her.

Frigga nodded and took another sip from his tankard before leaving his chambers. Thor watched her go, then hopped onto the rail and took Mjolnir in his hand. Forged by dwarves deep within Svartalfheim, the hammer was his most valued possession. Every weapon he had wielded before had failed him in one way or another, but never Mjolnir.

“My most faithful of companions,” he mused, “would you leave me too?”

Thor tossed Mjolnir into his chambers before summoning it back to his hand.

“I guess not,” he smiled, setting the hammer at his side.

Thor sat on the rail for several minutes and finished off his tankard. He was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol, and rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Behind his eyelids, he was transported back to the tower, and saw Loki standing before him.

_“You are my all! My whole being belongs to you, Thor. My body, my love, my lust; all belong to you! You stepped in to preserve my life because your love was aligned with mine, and now? Now you push me away!”_ Loki’s voice screamed in Thor’s ears.

He squeezed his eyelids together, and tried to block out the memory of his final moments with Loki. A warm hand touched his right shoulder, and a familiar wave of security and strength rushed over him. Thor looked up, and into an unfamiliar pair of pale blue eyes. A quiet storm raged inside them, while a warm smile, as serene as summer rain, greeted him. She was a stranger, but there was something eerily familiar about her. Thor blindly reached for Mjolnir, and the woman took his searching hand in hers.

“It’s alright, Thor,” she whispered, her voice soft and soothing. “I haven’t left you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cant' believe this section is over; I feel like I just started it. Thank you to everyone who left kudos and comments! Your support brightens my day :)
> 
> Retrospective PSA: Based off later comments, I thought I should add this in. Starting next section, the focus of the fic is going to shift away from Thor/Loki to anther ship as the main focus. There will still be Thor/Loki elements, but not like in these first two sections. If that does not sound like something you'd be interested in, please do not continue reading.   
> Thank you,  
> Lady Faulkner


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